Egypt Enthusiast Pillows

'I knew we didn't have enough blocks for this thing.'

'We'll have to redesign it. Whenever the Pharoah's wife tries to sunbathe on the roof, she slides off.'

Pyramid Handicap Parking

"Ramses II was here."

The head of a man sunk in desert sands

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

Archaeologist blows his nose on a mummy's bandage.

"'Leave Egypt'? And lose our security deposit?"

"He'll have to call you back. He's just now jumping in the shower."

Physician tending a mummy.

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

"Have your people call my people."

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

Mummy Busks For Coins For His Cases

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

Pyramids exploding.

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

How to create a password you can remember...

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

"Aha. . . the Sphinxter!"

'I know it's only a dummy run...but I'm telling you there's no wi fi signal in the tomb.'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'