Egyptian Culture Enthusiast Pillows

"Of course I like it. It's just that Cleopatra got a Sphinx with hers."

Physician tending a mummy.

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

'We'll have to redesign it. Whenever the Pharoah's wife tries to sunbathe on the roof, she slides off.'

Pyramid Handicap Parking

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

'Bugger!'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

Mummy Busks For Coins For His Cases

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

Pyramids exploding.

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

How to create a password you can remember...

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

'I know what you're thinking.'

"Aha. . . the Sphinxter!"

'I know it's only a dummy run...but I'm telling you there's no wi fi signal in the tomb.'

Anubis loved his evening rides.

'Mummy' clocking into to work

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

"Thousands of years from now, men will marvel at this and wonder how we did it."

"Just so you know, I'm taking all this with me into the afterlife."

"We're pretty sure it's the West Nile Virus."

'I'm no expert but at a guess I'd say they had the drawings upside down!'