Egypt Fan Prints

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Football Chameleon

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

"Uptight End"

Egyptian chiropractor.

"I thought I told you to employ a reputable building firm"

Pyramid Handicap Parking

'We'll have to redesign it. Whenever the Pharoah's wife tries to sunbathe on the roof, she slides off.'

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

Sphinx Food

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

Archaeologists discover a football

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

How they did it . . .

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

'Oooh, she has your eyes Horus.'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

Referee cop.