Ego Juggler T-Shirts

'Thank you for that kind introduction, Ed, but frankly, I would've liked a little further ado.'

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

"I'm bound to win the award for "Most supportive of fellow industry members" unless some other !�%&*) gets there first

'Just so you know - the old receptionist called me Dave, and she called the other Dave, The Other Dave.'

'He claims he's a wit. Well he's half way there.'

'I need some stroking, dammit!'

'There's nothing wrong with your throat. Lot's of people have trouble swallowing their pride.'

'It would be better if my legion did not see me taking out the garbage.'

'It appears the God complex doesn't carry over to the golf links.'

Work/Life Balance

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

To do before Saturday...

"I've given up trying to be on top of things."

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

Newton's cradle

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

Hopkin's for Clinic the Dyslexic

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

If you're a multiple personality could you spare an identity for an amnesiac?

The Emeril Isle

A balanced diet is a Cherry Cheesecake in each hand.

"So totally gross, yet, so totally cool Dad!"

The company lawyer's self-image vs the boss's self-image.

Children.

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

'He said he knows the letters but he doesn't know the words.'

Choose any combination of the words above to name your brilliant first novel.

"I like the big screen TV, but it makes my bass seem so small."

A statue of Mercury is defaced with a purse, stockings, a bra and lipstick.

"I've learned to compartmentalize my stress."

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'