Ego Juggler Gifts

'Thank you for that kind introduction, Ed, but frankly, I would've liked a little further ado.'

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

Theoresentful

I'm not sharing top billing with you on my radio hour. I created it. I am the vision, the reason people tune in, but I'm not a tyrant. I agree you should get your name in the show's title. The Sadie Cohen Radio Hour graciously allows a pervert to make occasional comments. Speak, pervert. Bite me, Tyrant.

"I'm bound to win the award for "Most supportive of fellow industry members" unless some other !�%&*) gets there first

'Just so you know - the old receptionist called me Dave, and she called the other Dave, The Other Dave.'

'He claims he's a wit. Well he's half way there.'

'I need some stroking, dammit!'

'There's nothing wrong with your throat. Lot's of people have trouble swallowing their pride.'

'It would be better if my legion did not see me taking out the garbage.'

'It appears the God complex doesn't carry over to the golf links.'

Work/Life Balance

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

To do before Saturday...

"I've given up trying to be on top of things."

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

Newton's cradle

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

"Well it looks like we're all here."

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

The company lawyer's self-image vs the boss's self-image.

The Emeril Isle

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

A balanced diet is a Cherry Cheesecake in each hand.

Hopkin's for Clinic the Dyslexic

"So totally gross, yet, so totally cool Dad!"

If you're a multiple personality could you spare an identity for an amnesiac?

Children.

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

'He said he knows the letters but he doesn't know the words.'

A statue of Mercury is defaced with a purse, stockings, a bra and lipstick.

Choose any combination of the words above to name your brilliant first novel.

"I like the big screen TV, but it makes my bass seem so small."