Egghead Explorer Pillows

'I don't know what it's used for. It beats me!'

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

'Frankendumpty'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

Narcissist in the tunnel of love.

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'Ah, beauty in the eye of the beholder!'

Ornithologist

Helicopter tour guide: 'And THERE they are folks! The mysterious ancient stone figures of Easter Island!'

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

As Seen On TV

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

'I understand he has a hard boiled management style.'

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

"You'll get right back over here if you know what's good for you!"

"I think I deserve more than a stub on Wikipedia."

"Leibniz, Boole and Gödel worked with logic. I work with logic. I am Leibniz, Boole and Gödel."

"Half a dozen brown—three large, three jumbo!"

'Great white shark! Where do they get that 'great' stuff? Know how hard that is to live up to?'

Which came first - the chicken or the egotist?

Egomaniacs Anonymous - "There's nothing anonymous about me!"

'Dear, your ego is stepping on my shoes again.'

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"You're taking this 'King Of Beasts' thing too seriously."

'I'm looking for a job that satisfies my lust for power.'