Egg Decorating Guru Pillows

'Why do I have to get all painted up just because it's Easter?'

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

Where Deviled Eggs come from

'Superstock'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

WHACK!

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

"How she's able to manage a career and still juggle her family, I'll never know."

Egg Buggy

I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

To the office...happy Easter, from Sid.

"Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you."

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

'I don't know the story of the two eggs.'

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

Easter Egg

"Haay, Tia Carmen, these eggs sure are fresh! What's your secret?"

'They are poached eggs, sir -- we grabbed them when the chicken wasn't looking!'

Cage-free eggs.

'Eggs, I'm cooking eggs!'

"As your CPA, I would recommend you count the number of eggs before you hide them."

"Why am I irate? A: You turn my eggs into omelets each morning. B: Not once have you offered me even a nibble."