Effigy Expert Gifts

"Honestly! Syria, Egypt, Iraq! Is there anyone in the world who can actually make a decent effigy?"

Thru versus Through Traffic

Fishing Tales

Alarmistclock

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

'I ink, therefore I am....', IF DESCARTES HAD BEEN A CARTOONIST

'...and that's the one that got away!'

'You know...that ain't a good sign.'

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'..and one for the pot.'

"Oops! Sorry, I gave you the net figures not the gross figures."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

Fabrication Lab. A virus got into the 3-D printer and distorted the pattern. A virus? It's a design flu.

'Oh my God! Call the Feng Shui expert!'

"You must be the new barmaid."

'Oh, no! They've got a Swiss-army defence lawyer!'

"There was a lot of tension between his ergonomics and his feng shui."

'Kevin was plagued since childhood by fears of a monster under his bed, but eventually overcame it until he and his monster became inseparable best friends.'

Signing a financial contract.

"You father's a nap just waiting to happen."

'We can mail these thank you cards now that I've forged your name.'

'This is what I've been waiting for-a bunch of fishermen telling fish stories.'

"When Dennis gets a cold everyone has to know about it"

'You were featured on Rogue Traders'

Public Intellectual/Private Intellectual

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

'I'm just going to our front gate for a chunner!'

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

'What gets me is how the actors make themselves so small!'

"Okay, you know so much, you fight him"

Wet Paint

Fred's last lie.

"I took an online, two-day legal course, so I respectfully disagree with you."

'I don't care how many seconds it took! I need to dry my hair now!'