Educational Superhero Gifts

Your assignment, should you accept, is to increase educational standards while support services dwindle.

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

North Pole

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Politically Correct Snowperson

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'Do you ever think about how we can reduce our global footprint?'

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

'While outsourcing is a common business practice, you may not ousource your research and homework assignments, Fletcher.'

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"The tuna is endangered, the lettuce was recalled and the tomatoes were hit by a drought. I can give you mayo on a roll."

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

"She's a high grade teacher."

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

'Ok, class, let's take attendance. Joey?'

'Just doing the school run.'

"Okay...so I could have been wrong about a few facts..."

"I need you to line up by attention span."

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

Muscular Dad

'Right lad, now it's my turn for free expression . . . (I wish!)'

I must not erase major breakthroughs....

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'