Educational Buffoons Pillows

"If it's any consolation, Alex, it's the first 'G' I've ever given."

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

Math Teacher

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

'People, get a half-life!'

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

'We don't know what this is called'

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"I try to keep my classes relevant."

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

'Fortunately, I'm not driven by a deep need for validation.'

"Since we are all swamped, I've decided to bring in a consultant."

"...And you get hazardous pay for study hall periods."

'Think Basics.'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

'How is his liberal arts degree going to help him in today's world?'