Political Buffoons Pillows

'Instead of the usual boring campaign speech, folks, I'm going to make some balloon animals!'

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"America’s leaders since 1980"

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

The White House: Some Assembly Required.

Ursula von der Leyen Surrounded By Donald Trump Heads on Island

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

'So what if few limp-wristed girlie men think we're too extreme!'

"You should run for president."

"Well, Sara Kalen is wrong – Edward Snowden is not a 'tattletale.'"

"Well it looks like we're all here."

'Are you two friends?' - 'No, we just hate the same people.'

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

"Mr Bush? I have a little job for you in North Korea..."

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

Corporate person hood!

Stay the Course.

Government Shutdown: 'Hah! You blinked. I saw you!'

OVERPOPULATION CRISIS LOOMS!, 'If the Government really wanted zero population growth, they'd turn the problem over to the Pentagon.'

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

'Boy or girl, straight or gay - I don't care as long as it's science-literate and non-republican.'

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."