Billing Buffoons Pillows

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

"I charge by the grain."

"I'm ready. Are you ready? Let the billing begin!"

"Remember the longer the jury stays out the more the more hours I have to bill."

Dentist: We drill/Fill/Bill.

'Instead of the usual boring campaign speech, folks, I'm going to make some balloon animals!'

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

Sales chart shows sales going downhill.

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"If it's any consolation, Alex, it's the first 'G' I've ever given."

"We lawyers are very conscientious about our charges and I remember that one specifically: I called to wish you a happy birthday and I got your answering machine so I just billed you a quarter of an hour."

"Yes, I know I only caught a lizard - it's called artistic license, Mildred!"

'You're security!'

'Are these billable hours?'

"I worry that more infrastructure spending will mean more schools!"

Man not charged enough for first opinion.

"Skip parts A through H and fill out the I, O and U ones!"

'Nice catch, idiot!'

"Tell the press we'll have more in the merger when someone fixes our printer."

Book Burp

'I said... oh, forget it!'

'How goes the billing?'

'Hello, Professor. When do we learn billing?'

"Baldo, now I'm worried. You've been working and working...and you still don't have much money saved up."

"All our medical services are a la carte. Our practice isn't holistic, but our billing is."

'I spent $1,500 on ski equipment, and now not only have I no balance on the slopes, I have no balance in the bank.'

'Oh, you mean that last fee! We just threw that one in to evenly balance the two columns.'

"This is a big day! With this paycheck, I've earned more than $2,000! Of course, I've wildly blown about $1,900 of it on junk."

My mobile phone bill keeps giving me headaches every time I get the bill!

Bank. Uh-huh

Post Office. People seem to be reading a lot more these days --- I get a lot of letters that start out "In going over my books