Education Realists Gifts

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"I'm not particular, I'll take any job that will replace a human."

"Maybe it's not a wrong answer - maybe it's just a different answer."

Southwick College: Basically, for the most part, usually - a meritocracy.

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

Spell-Check Bee

"Okay, I guess....first we had a lockdown drill, then we had an active shooter drill. Following that we had a fire drill. After that we got to meet out security guards. Then we watched a video on avoiding sexual predators...."

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

Obsolete: Any piece of software or hardware that your school brought last year for mega bucks.

'That does it. . . Little Freddie is not going to law school! He's going to become an oncologist, Mary a gerontologist and Stevie a pharmacist! We'll be covered!'

What teachers want to say.

"We should have more physics in the biology and chemistry curricula."

"Due to the expenses involved with making our schools more resistant to mass shootings, we re forced to make large cuts in teacher pay and benefits...and you will be required to carry this glock 9mm...."

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."

'Sorry, kid...that's it.'

42 Day Detention Vote - 'OK! That's unanimous then - it'll become official school policy.'

Just another life lesson son. Nothing in life is free.

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

"In a world where there's an app for everything, learning will be obsolete."

'Love gets the credit, but money makes the world go 'round.'

"That's Terri and Kip. . . our Imaginators. And over here is Al. He's our Get-real-inator."

"Do you realize that the only change we have had, in this school, is in our school telephone number?"

'What's the point of being guaranteed an education if I'm not guaranteed a job.'

"We've canceled so many technical programs. . . local business and industry is begging for trained people!"

'I'm looking as young as 20 years ago? Honey, promise me not to see an eye specialist for the next 20 years!'