Education Policy Geek Pillows

"All I know is this sounds like the kind of thing that could get a political appointee in trouble."

"Good boy."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'The recession is over, again.'

"Tariffs"

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

Tree of Public Opinion.

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'

EU - Constitution

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'

"Good news-- people are no longer calling your campaign quixotic."

Victim of Sequestration!

'I've got it! - We'll call it the SUPERpatriot Act!'

'We do not permit bullying or name calling in our school. We will reprimand any student that calls your child a dummy.'

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

'Why don't we just close the schools, and do it all with correspondence courses!'

"Now that we have ESSA, does that mean we can start leaving children behind again?"

"We should have more physics in the biology and chemistry curricula."

'In response to nasty jokes about his intelligence, the president promised to increase funding for think tanks.'

Weapons Ban

'Looks like we've got the best government money can buy.'