Education Policy Buffs Pillows

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

Our Rights

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

A politician points in the direction forward while being carried by members of the public.

'If she switches to essay tests none of us will ever be the same.'

'Why don't we just close the schools, and do it all with correspondence courses!'

"We should have more physics in the biology and chemistry curricula."

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

'We do not permit bullying or name calling in our school. We will reprimand any student that calls your child a dummy.'

Survey: Congestion Charge is wonderful and Ken is a God. Agree/Strongly Agree/Utterly Agree/Agree Big Time.

"Now that we have ESSA, does that mean we can start leaving children behind again?"

"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."

"If we have ten students, and no child is left behind, how may students will go to college?"

42 Day Detention Vote - 'OK! That's unanimous then - it'll become official school policy.'

OFSTED

Education Act of 1870 - Quarrelling

School with math class, black math and gay math.

Next On The Agenda

"That's the parents' section."

"All I know is this sounds like the kind of thing that could get a political appointee in trouble."

"Do you realize that the only change we have had, in this school, is in our school telephone number?"

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'Can we 'dumb it down' a bit, Mrs. Whipplemore?'

"Let's see...I believe a computer will be available for your class six weeks from Friday between ten and eleven in the morning."

"The last person you should be listening to regarding school reopening....

"Mr Yomp sent you a consultation bill for the conference with you about his son Wally."

Education Scores: 'This is unacceptable! We must do something!'