Education Policy Geek Gifts

"All I know is this sounds like the kind of thing that could get a political appointee in trouble."

"Good boy."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'The recession is over, again.'

"Tariffs"

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

Tree of Public Opinion.

From Street Walker to Call Girl

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

Arrest Them Later

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'

EU - Constitution

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'

Victim of Sequestration!

'I've got it! - We'll call it the SUPERpatriot Act!'

"Good news-- people are no longer calling your campaign quixotic."

"Implications of Reaganism."

Weapons Ban

"We should have more physics in the biology and chemistry curricula."

'Looks like we've got the best government money can buy.'

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

iDeasy

'We do not permit bullying or name calling in our school. We will reprimand any student that calls your child a dummy.'

'In response to nasty jokes about his intelligence, the president promised to increase funding for think tanks.'

'Why don't we just close the schools, and do it all with correspondence courses!'