Education Embracer Pillows

'I know you're going to inherit the throne from your father, but I want you to go to medical school just in case.'

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

Congratulations!

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

You Know You're Old When...

"You got better-looking as you got older—up to a point."

"What an awful morning. I left home without my phone."

"I hope I'm single for Valentine's because only I fully know my worth in chocolate."

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

"A Clif Bar wrapper? That's why you dragged me up here?!"

The Last Dinosaur: States with Gay Marriage Bans.

'Oh, Harold...How can I face our family and friends knowing you're a crossdresser?!'

Life is more than I can bear phobia.

At least you didn't marry him.

'She says she's 40 but she's forgotten to add on the V.A.T.!'

This Is Your Life

"She's been seeing a very good grief counselor."

"We live here. We just dress this way to fit in."

'I'm putting you on a forced exercise program of walking. Hand over your driver's license!'

Aging.

'Oh s**t, I've been offered a job!'

"Don't overthink it."

'Especially if it's a teacher's red pen.'

Gone were the days of emotional restraint.

Politically Correct Senior Birthday

"Ouch! I still can't get the hang of this new technology!"

'So, how's the anger management course going, then?'

'My car didn't start this morning.'

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