Education Embarker Gifts

'Especially if it's a teacher's red pen.'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Interdisciplinary studies.

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"Three more years of high school."

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

"You've changed."

"Must be another paradigm shift."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

After many years of wavering Dennis finally makes the decision to step out of his comfort zone.

"Of course you'll study Latin. How else will you learn the names of your dinosaur friends."

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

Congratulations!

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

"Studying friction is a real drag."

Fuzzy Math.

'In today's economy, it's important to put some of your money under you mattress and bury some in backyard...'

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

Student to teacher: 'After Accelerated Math I think I deserve a rest.'

School of Ology.

Public Relations 101: Today's Lecture: 'Weapons of mass deception.'