Education Buff Gifts

"He looks very promising—but let's see how he does on the written test."

'The challenge in teaching junior high is that the maturity levels can fluctuate from 12th grade to 3rd grade in a matter of seconds.'

"You need to work on the three R's. And they aren't reload, replay and rewind."

'Take my word for it. The answer is two. I'm a college graduate.'

'Timmy's very bright for his age. He knows nearly all his ABC's!'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

"If you give me a good grade in summer school I'll give you a good grade on rating my school teachers."

'I owe it all to a correspondence course I found on a matchbook cover.'

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

"Chris! You've just re-written the same paper you handed in yesterday!" "Well, you said to do it over again."

'I like my history teacher. He's kind of old and I think he lived through much of the history he's teaching.'

Cave college: 'I'm too old and slow to hunt, so I ned to apply for grant to study gathering.'

A school of fish.

'He was very big in Vienna.'

Rocket science for beginners.

'My teacher says this report card should not be taken as an indictment of my heredity or home environment.'

'Class, this weeks research project topic is social media. It will be marked out of like or dislike!'

'It says 'Oxford contains many historic seats of learning.' Take my picture with this one.'

' - I see literacy is your strong point - How come you parked in my bay?'

'Mrs. Finnegan put me in the accelerated recess program!'

This is probably the only time that Clem's name and the title 'Ph.D' will be used in the same sentence.

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

"I could have gone to Eton but I never had the Sat Nav."

Zorkens in class learning the three Zs: Zreading, Zriting & Zrithmetic.

Child vampire writes blood types on blackboard instead of alphabet

Multiplication. This "multiplication table" thing, has it been peer reviewed?

"Very good, Tommy, but, no, you won't get a theorem named after you for this."

'Can't you dumb it down more, Ms. Slemrod?'

"I know as a teacher I shouldn't say this, but their questions are so stupid. It's just one stupid question after another."

Saturday marathon introductory English class: Hour 12.

"No, 'umpteen' is not a correct answer."

"That's right, Leland. No latitude."

"Could you please put my Mom on your no call list?"

Econ 101. Come on, come on! What's the first law of economics?! I could supply the answer if you weren't so demanding.