Economy Muser Gifts

I'm bored and broke. My gadgets seem old and outdated. I can't buy anything new. I can't work because the economy stinks. I'll just die of boredom. Hold on. Surely you can think of some other exciting and self-destructive activity to distract you from facing your real problems. Ooh, my inside voice has an idea. What's Darlene up to?

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

God's map of the universe

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

"But am I happy? Very."

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

'Just because the alignment of the system wasn't maintained during rapid sample exchange, it's no threat to your manhood.'

"Bit if I'm here...how can I also be up close and personal to my managers?"

"And then it hit me: I got up early for THIS? A slimy, cold worm? I HATE worms!"

society of cartoonists...

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

"They're crowdsourcing your session."

"If a stock falls in the market and no one's around, does it really lose its value?"

'They say medicine is a calling. . . but it's days like this I wish I'd had call waiting.'

'Bit early for Surrealism, isn't it?'

"I'm thinking of getting out of medicine completely… or volunteering in a third world country to do my liposuction."

'Are you SURE we're not allowed to telecommute?'

'Would you knock it off with the 'woulda-coulda-shoulda'!'

'What a beautiful landscape!'

'Did Snow White know about Prince Charming's previous marriage to Cinderella?'

"I don't like to complain, but he should've created some jobs, too."

'I wish I had eaten all that bread.'