Eco-thinking Gifts

Carbon Footprint

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Bee flying to another flower.

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"I do miss trees but I don't miss the raking."

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

'It's a bold initiative but I don't think it's right for the staff kitchen.'

"We come from the future and just want to say: Hey, thanks for the planet!"

The New Normal

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?"

"The homes in this area are beautiful."

"Sorry, Rudolph, but the production on electric reindeers and their batteries gives work to thousands of children while you destroy the climate with your farts."

'Have you done something to your air? You look different?'

Fred deciding which sort of power to use to cut wood for his wood burning air conditioner.

Climate Change -- You are here.

Dept. Sustainable Energy.

COP26

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

"I came to save you, but everything I can think to do seems like it wouldn't actually make that much of a difference."

A globe detaches itself from its stand and falls into a rubbish bin in the offices of the (fictional) Institute of Environmental Forecasting

'There's a renewable source the government should use.'

'We are an environmentally sensitive organization. We will have to do a background check on the size of your carbon footprint before we can make an offer of employment.'

'An aerosol? Are you sure you've thought this through?'

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."