Eco Auditor Gifts

'It's okay, the chainsaw runs on biofuel.'

The Environmentalist

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"I love you too, big guy."

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

God's Subcontractors

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"It says here that people can't live without soil. I knew it!"

There is No Planet C

Cat Panels. Cats soak up sun on rooftop like solar panels.

"I think we have run out of time..."

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

"Not to mention the park view."

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

Climate Change

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

'May the forest be with you.'

"I can’t remember the last time he hugged me!"

"I solve mathematical problems, program electronic music, analyze environmental issues...but being a renaissance man isn't what it used to be."

"Turns that out! - We're supposed to be saving energy!!"

'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...Greenland's ice sheet is melting faster than previously thought, sea levels could rise..."

Pandora's boxes

"The Nominees"

'There is nobody else. I'm afraid we've wiped out all of the other species.'