Ebullient Patient Gifts

'Apparently the drugs make me hallucinate, not that I've noticed.'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

The New Age Dentist.

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"We have adult teeth now, and, as such, they demand adult pain."

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

"It's cooties."

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

'-and who's next?'

"You sure have a funny way of making someone feel better."

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

"Don't be alarmed! The Doctor's chiropractor recommended he work like this!"

"That reminds me, I was going to get my daughter piano lessons!"

'Pick something you can tolerate from this list of side effects and I'll prescribe something appropriate.'

"This is going to be a little invasive."

'It's hard to have confidence in a doctor whose office plants don't look very healthy.'

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

"So tell me doc, what's new and exciting in pharmacology these days?".

Dentistry jokes.

"It doesn't actually work. But it's a great motivator for people to take better care of their teeth."

'Very funny!'