Easter Sunday Gifts

Jesus at the Tomb

"We always have pizza for Easter dinner because that's what my mom gives up for Lent."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Tartine

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Too much sugar."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

An Unexpected Guest.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

The Mouse Princess

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

Happy Easter

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Night-time halo

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

Butterflies

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'