Easter Gifts

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'What kind of filling would you like?'

'My advice is: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.'

"One of you will betray me."

"Go and spread the Gospel. Hide it in colorful, little eggs for the world to find and be delighted by."

Field of unhatched eggs. Caption reads- Prequel to Alfred Hitchcocks 'The Birds'.

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'As your financial adviser, I see nothing wrong with putting all of your eggs in one basket.'

The dark secret about where the Easter Bunny gets the candy...

'I'm usually a basket case at this time of year...'

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

'My first piece of advice is not to put all your eggs in one basket.'

'My first piece of advice is not to put all your eggs in one basket.'

Why the chicken really crossed the road. . .

'One second she's saying how sweet I am. The next, she's biting my head off.'

"Hollow - just as I've always suspected."

"Do you know where Noah kept the bees?" "In the ark hives?"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

God's map of the universe

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"Forget keeping all your eggs in one basket. What you need is a nest egg..."

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

Easter Bunny crushed by tomb stone.

"Nice sermon. Not too preachy."

'Morning, Guys! Did someone say, 'Rise and shine'?

A surprise in heaven

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

"It's rose, not pink...Because Jesus rose from the dead. He didn't pink from it."

Three Little Pigs,Easter Bunny, Father Christmas, Humpty Dumpty, a Leprechaun, The Tooth Fairy and a Mummy settle down to watch Reality TV.

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'Thanks anyway, but I'm more interested in the goose that laid the golden egg.'

Pray Ground Sign.

"I swear...I have no idea!"

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

Regular Confession and Express Booth.