Earth Skeptic Pillows

"I'm never visiting earth again! Ever since we got back I've been getting nothing but robocalls and spam."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

How Glaciations Begin

Alternative Medicine

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

'I have trouble believing in global warming when it's so cold that my nipples and p***s are the same size.'

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

Ozone layer claims another victim.

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

Save the Planet.

"I totally meant to do that."

"I can't recall a time when I've seen quite so many grassroot initiatives!"

User friendly soil.

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'I should have known years ago that shredded campaign literature would make good fertilizer.'

Science deniers Soc.

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."