Earth Shaker Gifts

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

"In this company, Simmons, we hold our hands steady in the middle and shake our bodies."

'I'll be home for dinner in a few minutes... I'm getting my stomach lined right now.'

"Sorry Mr Penrose. We forgot to shake your medicine this morning."

'Well, now do you believe that snow global warming is real?'

"Didn't I say to just sprinkle salt on it!"

Comfort Zone Lady Leaving a Room.

"This year, no coal for the bad guys!"

An Earth Mover.

Bowled out.

Changing rooms: Men. Women. Minds.

"I want you to decrease your salt intake and increase your pepper intake."

Shaker Timeouts

"Liquidity is when you wake up one day to see your pension pot has vanished, then you wet yourself."

Bowl-A-Rama

Souvenir of Iceland

'You'll have to come up with something new...Nobody notices you anymore.'

Pope Francis

'Well, if you don't like our rules then start your own denomination.'

'I've got a good mind to sue that chiropractor!'

Upper class homeless man.

'Talk about having your travel plans shaken up!'

'Shakers don't like subways'

"Ok one last chance - and don't try and tell me it's salt again."

Shaken Old Bartender

'I can't get the salt into this little hole.'