Earth Escapist Gifts

'You're allergic to the environment. We've got to get you off the planet.'

'Been coming here ever since Florida got crowded.'

"Ahhh... close enough."

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Ice fisher.

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

Crowded Ice Fishing

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

"Now you can send it."

Fish swimming by fishermen's feet - 'This looks like a safe place.'

'See you in two weeks!'

Saved...life is good!

'...I said we've been marooned.'

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

Man fishing while aliens invade.

"So why do I feel like we're being watched?"

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

'At least they can never accuse me of 'insider trading' again.'

'You always wanted a larger office with a view.'

"I'm saving you with this booklet about the Kingdom of Heaven."

'You said you were going to put gas in the RV, and then come right back. You've been gone for a year. Care to explain?'

Blowing up the camping mattress.

A leprechaun sits under a mushroom.

'Now don't forget, polar bears can be sneaky buggers.'

"Quick! Hide the valuables."