Earning A Medical License Gifts

"Congratulations on earning your Proctology license... bottoms up!"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Happy Birthday to you.

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"Gross."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

Mutation D614G

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"Let's take it again from the top...but this time with more fillings."

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

Dentist Training School.

'I would have come to you sooner, but you hadn't graduated from medical school yet.'

'A woman obsetrician! What do women know about that sort of thing?'

"This is a teaching hospital."

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."