Earning A Medical License Pillows

"Congratulations on earning your Proctology license... bottoms up!"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Happy Birthday to you.

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"Gross."

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

Mutation D614G

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"Let's take it again from the top...but this time with more fillings."

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

Dentist Training School.

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

'A woman obsetrician! What do women know about that sort of thing?'

'I would have come to you sooner, but you hadn't graduated from medical school yet.'

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

"This is a teaching hospital."

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."