Earning A Ged Pillows

GET YOUR G. E. D. 50 CENTS

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

Graduates on their phones

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

"I believe that's a Montessori school."

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

'New career low - gave out a page of Ulysses to my freshmen and they thought it was a wordsearch.'

"Memorizing the multiplication table is NOT brainwashing!"

"Remember double negatives are a complete no-no."

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

"I've made a fortune as a successful artist! I couldn't see this happening if I became a soldier or a worker..."

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

"That's the problem today. Everyone expects the same old standardized answers."

Ohm. He has a degree in electrical engineering!

'Please Pass the Moon Tan Lotion.'

Gorillas Learn to Read.

"I wrote my thesis on 'Tears of A Clown: Irony or Paradox?'"

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

"I may have to go back into the office - we're running low on stationery."

'Mrs. Wayne was so excited about getting her masters in physical science, she took a quantum leap!'

'I need ur homework ASAP!'

Teacher.

A learner driver crashes into lamp post

Lamaze. I'm sorry, no, we' don't offer any "Gifted Fetus" programs.

Once upon a time vs. today

"No air guitar"

'Truth is, kids, I ate your homework.'

'Your x-ray shows an enlarged heart. It's nothing to worry about. All teachers have a big heart.'

"There's nothing to be scared of, Mrs. Miller, it's just another teaching tool!"

Jerry Onion's dream has always been to be a stand-up comedian, but whenever he is on stage, the audience's reaction is not precisely the one he expected.

GET YOUR G. E. D. 50 CENTS

'Ever since she got that MBA on the Internet, she's been impossible to live with.'

"This is for business administration, this is for economics, and this one is for just showing up for class."

'I started going to school with Mary and loved it so much I kept on going and ended up with a PhD...'