Early Night Navigators Gifts

November: "It's only 4:15, but it's pitch dark!"

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Bookworm Sleepover

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"I told you, if you're looking for a road map for your life, that's all you're gonna get."

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

Pull and all nighter...

Things that go beep in the night.

'I can't sleep. I'm too awake.'

"Honey! We're home!"

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

GPS verses Map and Compass - Lost or Found?

'Rats! The GPS-coordinates don't match any known oasis: it must be a mirage...'

"He's teaching me map skills, such as how to fold it."

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

Books 'n' Carrots

'Oh, no! The monster under my bed is my brother!'

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

'Have a couple of dreams, and call me in the morning.'

Animals looking at a map of the crops on a farm.

Sleepwalking Golfer

'Ok, so you smelled gas and then you ... wait a minute! You're a family of opossums?'

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

'Mind throwing him back? It's his round...'

'Damn early birds.'

"How long have you had this nightmare of being shot down by a beagle on a flying doghouse, Herr Von Richthofen?"

Happy hour.

"I assumed it was writer's block but as I've never written anything I could be wrong."

"Technology's taken the romance out of off-shore banking."

Man crawling in desert finds sign reading 'Ignore your satnav'.