Early Human Enthusiast Gifts

'Yes, I invented the wheel, but it never took me anywhere.'

"I'd really like to retire and spend more time gathering."

The first car accident.

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

The discovery of asparagus.

Those Were The Days

"Daddy's working from home today."

"The invention of taxidermy."

Caveman has a good idea for the wheel.

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

"I told you a firecracker behind his back didn't seem like a good idea!"

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

"Don't make me pull over this mammoth!"

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

"Look! Other people. We'll have to develop a foreign policy!"

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

"Say, Honey, how about a nice salad for supper instead?"

"I'd like you to see an Anthropologist.''

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

'Dear, couldn't you spend part of your time actually hunting something?'

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

Sober Tooth Tiger

We never got anything done around here until we invented verbs.

"...One careful owner, not much mileage. In fact, I only invented it last week."

"According to your resume, you've done nothing of any real significance since inventing the wheel."

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

Early cave painters

'The first cocktail.'

Good luck with that quest for fire thing! I'm just going over there to eat some grass!

Bowling - The Early Years. This game will never catch on --- it's too hard on the goalie.