Dysfunctional Dynamics Explorer T-Shirts

"Who is it - some tramp from a lower court? You only buy me flowers when you feel guilty for seeing another judge."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

Oligarchy

'Jones, I don't like you because it's so hard to find something to blame you for!'

Would anybody else like to ask a question before the stewards get to them?

That's the chairman's office.

The Department of People waiting for Something to Happen...

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

Organizational Flow Chart: Puppets

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

"Now that's power."

Coming to a consensus.

'I think my boss is trying to intimidate me, and I get the feeling that I can forget that promotion and raise I was up for.'

"Someone here has gobbled down all the food rations..."

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

Budget and swan, crayfish, pike

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

"Some people think the CEO has the most power, but I select everyone's chairs."

Cohesion Of Cohort/Shared Behaviors

'Well, if you consider normal corporate surveillance, interrogation, and harassment 'union-busting,', nothing I have to say will change your mind.'

'And that's Mel. To be honest, I've always found him to be a hard person to nail down!'

'Dear, would it be all right if I was assertive for a minute?'

'I like your ideas so much Farnsworth, that I've decided to take full credit for them.'

"To paraphrase the late President Kennedy, Smithson: Ask not what Consol

"There is no 'I' in 'leadership'. . . but there is and 'I' in 'DO what I tell you or you can pack your bags and get out!'"

Human rights fish is eaten by a shark.

Circle of power.

The phantom sphinx.

"Lift your stems."

"I think I speak for all of us."

'And to think I didn't vote for her as one of the fifty most powerful women in business.'