Dusting Diva Pillows

My mum is very houseproud.

Let's get organized

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

Little Princess.

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

How would Madam like to pay?

'I need it in a size two for now and a size five for when I put on my rebound weight.'

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

Baby dressed for the opera.

Party Time!

'After years of studying the apes I've finally found a way of being accepted into their group.'

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

Master of the Universe meets the sugar plumb fairies

"I'm ready for my close-up."

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

Girl trying to be a woman

It's too hard to clean my closet. Take out everything. Throw them into "keep", "donate" or "toss" boxes. Ok. Done!

Cut out and keep your own Wardrobe Assistant.

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

Dancing Doctor

Meanwhile, back at the 'shape' party... 'Hey, check out the square dancing with Brenda...!'

'It;s the xmas party, Jane... let your hair down!'

"You're not serious. You want me to up Latin dance?"

"I admire the way you avoided that radar trap."

'You should just buy them - and never look back.'

The Young Woman Who Lived in a Shoe.

'You precisely said 'straight over at the roundabout'. You didn't say anything about going around it.'

Chapeaux!

Spring Break!

'What did we say about playing dress up?' (pets caught in the act)

This magazine has terrific ideas on de-cluttering. Let's hear. Start with just on pile. But which? How about this one? Good choice. It's magazines with terrific articles on de-cluttering. Next: magazines with bad articles!

Itemicia: The muse of itemized deductions