Duet Enthusiasts Gifts

"This is it, everybody. Jack and Harriet Schroeder sing Harold Arlem."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

Incompatible.

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Nobody told me it was a dress down wedding day!"

'Romeo and Julietta'

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'

His and Hers Wedding

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Duel in a wheelchair.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You lack spontaniety."

'They call it the people dance.'

Biological Cuckoo clock

"...and if you both can successfully complete this CAPTCHA, we'll continue with the vows."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

"Your profile said you were a dog."

'What do you mean, I'm not your type?'

Ostrich Bar

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

'Are you serious? I thought 'For Better or for Worse' was just a comic strip.'

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

Heart is sewn back together.

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.