Dueller Pillows

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Wifi whore

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

Wild West Text Showdown

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

Meet The People in the Bookstore Café Staring at Their Laptops 2-4 p.m.

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

"They've decided to resolve the department's conflicting educational philosophies."

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

Pizzeria - 'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

'Sure, long waits don't bother you. You've served time.'

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

'The Position's yours, Henderson - But first you must defeat our champion.'

Businessman fences with three others.

"And now the winner will be determined by a duel."

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

Nobody Comes Between Nancy & Her Mondrian

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

Man fights with his shadow.

'That stranger's tellin' the truth, sheriff. Ol' Buford here done went into his windup first.'

"Step 10 paces, turn and post your opinion on facebook."

Devil vs Angel Duel.

Two men taking part in a duel are too close to a cliff

'Well, well, well. . . Bucky Hutchins, the so-called fastest pillow fighter in the west. . .'

Man hanging by chains in dungeon, arrow in chest with message saying: 'Help is at hand.'

Things get heated at the outing.

Peace Fighting