Dueling Fan Gifts

'This chair ain't big enough for the two of us...'

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"Skate or die."

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Duel in a wheelchair.

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

Wild West Text Showdown

'Don't forget the plan - When he gets weak from laughing - Hit him with your left!'

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

'That was a peach of a right hander the referee gave you!'

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

"Let's go slider, fastball, curve, beanball, fight, ejection, shower, beer."

'Work the jab! Move your feet! Attack, attack, attack! ...But be careful. He's got a human shield.'

Wrestling Champion.

Frankie and Annette.

Federal Employees Annual Easter Egg Hunt: 'This isn't fair - the CIA always wins!'

'Break a leg.' - 'Thanks a lot.'

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

'I'll teach you to call me a cowboy builder! Go for your gun!'

"Pistols at dawn?"

Businessman fences with three others.

'Look at it this way...you're like a big pop star! The hits just keep on coming!'

Angel and Devil Music.

'Such petulance!'

'He has a great left hook,'

'Look out for his low punches.'

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."

Duel in the snow with snow shovels.

"...and forget your damn sensitivity training."