Ducky Strategist T-Shirts

'I'll take it. How soon can you deliver?'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"I've just barbecued my head again."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

CX909708

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

"I'm in advertising. . ."

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

I'm starting a lawn-mowing service instead of going to camp. Excellent. Can I have a loan to get started? What for? Gas can, tool cart, mower blade, sharpening and insurance in case I cut off my foot or someone's prized peony. Maybe we can afford summer camp. It's a bargain.

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

'Governor game change and his replacement debate moderators...'

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

"I'd fire him in a minute, but the old man thinks we need his unique perspective around here."