Duck Watching Gifts

"Maybe you should ask yourself why you're inviting all this duck hunting into your life right now."

'Where's the duck?'

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

A lady walking her dog by a pond.

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

A Symphony of Penguins

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

The Zoo.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Tourists

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"Do me next."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

"Now I really hate poetry."

Cat in a tank...

Polluted geese

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

M.T. accidentally triggers the predator pursuit response.

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."