Duck-faced Dribbler Detective T-Shirts

A boy acting suspiciously

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

'This duck call works too well.'

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'You have bullseye rash. take this medicine twice a day and stay away from dart games.'

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

'Fancy coming on a man hunt?'

Crafty Fish.

'You're free to go. Another suspect matching the description of having big ears and a trunk has just been arrested for the circus stampede.'

"We need to talk about procrastination."

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

'Counterfeiting? Whadda you mean? I was just pumping up the local economy.'

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

'Did you see who pushed you?'

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy

'Since you stole my identity I thought I'd bring you the rest of the package.'

Neighborhood Watch.

'Dad put that sign there to keep tabs on my driving!'

"Don't let the organized desk fool you. I have no idea where my computer files are."

'Where's the duck?'

'I don't think there's anyone home...Or am I just being naive?...'

"You can use Dave's cubicle. He has Seasonal Affective Disorder and won't be using it this winter. Whoa! I guess I'm wrong. There he is, hibernating under the desk!"

"Take it easy! Thinking snow doesn't mean necessarily mean wanting snow!"

"You could have literally stolen any getaway car."

"Well done my son! There's a shell case in the corner. . .and number that stain."