Duck Detective T-Shirts

'Where's the duck?'

'Call me crazy, Earl, but I get the feeling those ducks were expecting us!'

'Hang on! A good looking she-duck alone on lake doesn't seem right to me: It must be a decoy...'

'This duck call works too well.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'So who needs sonar?!'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"What's all this?"

Fido and Fifi

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'Just as I suspected, Simpson. The extinction process happened very suddenly.'

"Well, we can kiss being free-range goodbye."

Crafty Fish.

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"