Dual Degree Dreamer Gifts

"I'm pre-law and pre-med. That way if I foul up I can defend myself."

The fate of the emigrant

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"Make a lot of money."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

Continuing education.

Exam

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'I had no idea there would be a test.'

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

Good luck in your A Levels.

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

"'How to Buy Tickets on Bezos' Spaceship so You Can Live to See Your Teens,' by Chloe Butler."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'Congratulations! And please give your parents this receipt for $148 thousand.'

'In the future, that should produce thousands of PhD theses.'

'And here's my collection of stock in DiscoCorp... or as I call it, your college fund.'

Minion, I'm ordering you not to talk about alternate histories with the customers. No more "what if feudalism never happened" nonsense. If people start thinking things could've been different, they'll soon start thinking things could've been better. Which could lead to them thinking things can still get better. This "gap between rich and poor" thing is working out in my favor. I don't want your talk of alternate pasts to accidentally create any alternate futures. Very bad man.