Dual Careers Gifts

"I'm a superhero for the benefit of mankind. It's my day job in a call centre that pays the bills."

"I'm your court-appointed attorney, but I'm really an interior decorator."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

37 years in the same position.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

I've been working 20 hours a day. Well, that leaves you four hours to get to work.

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

Caged Businessman

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

"....how many kids have we got now?"

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

Working 9 to 5.

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

'Cat job interviews.'