Dry Humor Admirer Pillows

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Ancient Racing

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

He looks so natural lying there...

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

On the brink.

Dolphin friendly tuna

Cow's straw

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Gym Dog

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

Cheating Death.

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

Pea

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

Was the Illuminati - now the Illuminasty

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

"We can't take breaks, but lunch is provided."