Driving Joker Pillows

'It gets me from A to B alright but it won't get me from B back to A!!'

Banana Split...

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Get crazy once in a while

Joust Sharpener

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

Jogging Bottoms

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

Vampire on a plane

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

Bicycle Sidecar.

Unicyclist painting a ceiling.

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'How about a nice saloon?'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'George, stop playing with the children.'

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

Very drunk professional cyclist

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

Toilet humour

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Adult Absence Notes.

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

No infrastructure problem here

False encouragement.