Driving Humour Aficionados Pillows

"This one contains our tailgating deterrent feature."

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'And here's the toolkit.'

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

No U-turns

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

Speed Checked By Radar.

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

"I've just had my panel 5 beaten...."

Parking? I don't think so.

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

"Could we try parking again please, Mr. Zog?"

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

'Turning Left' lights on front of car.

'When do I learn to elude the cops?'

"Say, aren't we a bit too old to drive a car?"

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

'Hey -- Watch it with the tailgating'

"Back so soon?"

The Latest in Airbags

Woman Driving a Lemon.

Let's stop at the next exit. We may need an antacid, if I read the sign correctly."

'My car has been acting funny.'

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

Chief, call you back. Something's come up.

Earvin is having second thoughts about getting a cellular pay-phone.

The old man and the forest

"Okay...when the light turns red, you stop. When the light turns green, you go."

'Okay, which ones are the bad guys?'

This lane reserved for average persons only.

"Flashed again....Anyone would think I was on full beam!"