Driving Humour Aficionados Pillows

"This one contains our tailgating deterrent feature."

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'And here's the toolkit.'

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

No U-turns

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

Speed Checked By Radar.

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

"I've just had my panel 5 beaten...."

Parking? I don't think so.

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

"Could we try parking again please, Mr. Zog?"

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

'When do I learn to elude the cops?'

The Latest in Airbags

'Turning Left' lights on front of car.

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

"Back so soon?"

'Hey -- Watch it with the tailgating'

Car rot. I thought you would like to know! Carrot. Do you want a punch in the knows?!

"Say, aren't we a bit too old to drive a car?"

Woman Driving a Lemon.

Let's stop at the next exit. We may need an antacid, if I read the sign correctly."

'My car has been acting funny.'

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

Chief, call you back. Something's come up.

Earvin is having second thoughts about getting a cellular pay-phone.

The old man and the forest

Get You Home Tow Truck.

This lane reserved for average persons only.

"Flashed again....Anyone would think I was on full beam!"