Driving Humor Fan Pillows

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'And here's the toolkit.'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

"This one contains our tailgating deterrent feature."

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

'Told you so.'

Speed Checked By Radar.

'It's my prostate.'

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

"Must you go 'beep beep beep' every time you back up?"

Sat Nag

Woman's car has sticker on the back saying 'How's My Wife's Driving'.

Old Testament - Methuselah has a car accident

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

"Could we try parking again please, Mr. Zog?"

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

'Hey -- Watch it with the tailgating'

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

"We'll be there soon, dear. Your dad will only be pushing us until gas prices go down...which will be in the fall.."

'When do I learn to elude the cops?'

Let's stop at the next exit. We may need an antacid, if I read the sign correctly."

DAVE'S GARAGE, 'Sorry, pal, but we found a typo in your warranty.'

'This new headset is great. I can eat and drink while I drive.'

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

'We don't have a flat tire!'