Driveway Diagnostician T-Shirts

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

Caution, Student Self-Driver

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

Artists Impression of the first call for roadside assistance...

'I'm afraid we need someone with a little more backbone for this position.'

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

Researchers find proof that the legendary lead foot exists.

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

"Accelerate forward into that brick wall."

'Dad put that sign there to keep tabs on my driving!'

"Take it easy! Thinking snow doesn't mean necessarily mean wanting snow!"

'The good news is that it's only flat at the bottom.'

'We'll have to check your car for pre-existing conditions.'

Auto Diagnostic Center.

"Check the catalytic converter while you're in there, please."

'Morning Mr Walker, remember me? You sacked me last month...'

"I don't care about the test. Put the bloody breaks on!"

'It's flooded.'

'How do you spell 'failed'?'

'Your call is important to us - please hold while we connect you to an advisor.'

'. . .while we are waiting fro the breakdown truck, ask no questions on the highway code.'

"'Scuse me, you getting out?"

'Excuse me, have you got a coat hanger? I'm locked out of my car.'

Police man stopping a limo.

Car sign reads: 'How's my wife's driving?'

Crash test dummy - "You f**king idiot! Why didn't you crash into me back there?!"

'I told you I'd find a way to change the flat without a jack!'

"...I think I've flooded the carburettor!"

"Yes...but when you said you thought your engine was missing..."

Cut out and keep your own Mechanic.

More professional training required for SUVs