Driveway Diagnostician Gifts

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

Caution, Student Self-Driver

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

Gas Pedal Sticking?

'I'm afraid we need someone with a little more backbone for this position.'

Artists Impression of the first call for roadside assistance...

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

Crash Test Dummy Funerals.

Researchers find proof that the legendary lead foot exists.

'Dad put that sign there to keep tabs on my driving!'

"Accelerate forward into that brick wall."

'The good news is that it's only flat at the bottom.'

"Take it easy! Thinking snow doesn't mean necessarily mean wanting snow!"

'We'll have to check your car for pre-existing conditions.'

Auto Diagnostic Center.

"Check the catalytic converter while you're in there, please."

"I don't care about the test. Put the bloody breaks on!"

'Morning Mr Walker, remember me? You sacked me last month...'

'It's flooded.'

'. . .while we are waiting fro the breakdown truck, ask no questions on the highway code.'

Car sign reads: 'How's my wife's driving?'

'Excuse me, have you got a coat hanger? I'm locked out of my car.'

'How do you spell 'failed'?'

'Your call is important to us - please hold while we connect you to an advisor.'

"'Scuse me, you getting out?"

Police man stopping a limo.

'Oh brother, not another one! When are you middle-aged guys going to wise up and stop shoveling your driveways>'

Crash test dummy - "You f**king idiot! Why didn't you crash into me back there?!"

'I told you I'd find a way to change the flat without a jack!'

"...I think I've flooded the carburettor!"

More professional training required for SUVs

'In case of an emergency brake.'